the wedding was on saturday. on wednesday, i had my annual review at work. and bawled in front of my vice presidents. for no good reason. (also – who does that? you knew i was getting married in 3 days. and you HAD to have my review right then? what did you expect?) On thursday I did no work. and then I left. but not for good. (not then at least.)
I drove up to my parents house and spent the night in my childhood room on thursday night. it was unreal, and comforting. my sister and her family were already there, and i could feel the air changing. it was gearing up, it was getting ready for excitement. it was starting.
friday morning we got up and had pancakes. my mom’s famous silver dollar pancakes that will forever live on as the best pancakes anyone in my family has ever had. my best friend arrived from colorado. my nephew and his amazing girlfriend arrived from vegas. my “aunt” who is really my mom’s best friend, arrived from north carolina. my oldest sister came in from reno. my aunt, the same. so we did what any group of women from around the country with a wedding to be at the next day would do. we went to the salon.
sitting in that chair and staring around the room at all these women who have had such a huge impact on my life. all there for me. it was the most overwhelming feeling. it was the feeling of love. and this is when you know. this is what a wedding is about. gathering the people you love. and sharing this wonderful moment – this wonderful feeling with them. it’s not just for you. it’s for everyone.
saturday was to be a big day. but first i had to get through the rehearsal and dinner.
the rehearsal went out off without a hitch. everyone was making jokes and laughing. i borrowed sara’s coat and immediately exclaimed how i was going to get it dry cleaned for her because i was sweating like a pig. apparently a little nervous. it was great seeing the inn, delivering all the goods for the next day, the flowers and decorations. it was all on track.
dinner was held at my parents house on friday night. i will forever be grateful to them for opening up their home to everyone – to neil’s family, to our friends, to family members who maybe haven’t been the best over the years. everyone was welcome that night. and everyone was happy. or maybe that’s just the way i saw it. it was a blur – a blur of food and smiles and camera flashes. of seeing my brother for the first time in the better part of 10 years. of neil’s sister and my father at the same table having a passionate laugh together. it was a symbol of things to come. and it was blurry. and wonderful.