eventually they made us unlock arms and go our separate ways. and before i knew it, the day-of coordinator was in front of me, and my sister was already walking down the aisle. it was still sunny.
i saw sara leave, and i was all alone. my doc looked at me with a smile, and told me exactly when to go. and i went. and i stared at the floor a little too much because i was convinced i was going to fall down the stairs. and the lace of my train caught on the brick and i had a brief moment of panic where i saw my dress ripping off my body but none of it happened. and i got to the bottom and saw my parents waiting to walk me the rest of the way. and i took their arms, looked up, and saw neil.
and that was it. i couldn’t tell you who else was there. who was in the front row or the fact that neil’s brother in law had corralled all the kids behind neil because there was nowhere left for them to sit. (i found this out later, amongst other imperfect things that i don’t care about.) none of it mattered, all i could see was him. and i looked at him. and then i looked at the knot on his tie. and tried not to cry.
i spent a good deal of time looking at his tie. as the tears rolled down my cheeks. and the officiant made a few jokes and said beautiful words. and i saw his careful, loving, caring eyes. and my face hurt from smiling. my sister read a poem, his sister read a poem. there were rings and vows and finally, a kiss.
and it was perfect. in every way.