Finding Yourself Through Others.

“I’m not sure I’m really ever going to get married. Forever is a LONG time, ya know?”

I nod my head in agreement with her sentiment and take a moment to let the words curl around my brain. Was it so few months ago that I was saying the same thing? ‘When pigs fly – that’s when I’ll be ready to marry.’ I had so much I wanted to do first. a PhD. World Traveling. A far flung love affair with someone heavily accented. To live and to grow – that was my only dream for life. Not to love. Love would come later, or come as a nice distraction. Not as a priority. But everything changed. It was him. From the very beginning it was him. and unknowingly, unwittingly, he changed it all. I dream now of World Traveling – Together. of Growing Old and of Learning and Wandering and Finding Ourselves all over again. Was this only 20 months ago? It feels like eternity. I swirled this around for a moment, studying her determined look. She was waiting for an answer – an agreement. That yes, marriage is HARD and not recommended.

“You know, I was the same way. Trust me, I understand. But something happens. There’s this moment. This clarity. When you know you’re with the right person – you want nothing more than to scream from the highest mountain tops – to declare your undying your love to the world. Forever doesn’t seem daunting – it seems like not enough time.”

She gave me a hard, long look. One of those looks that don’t come around very often. A look you only see when something you said really stuck. Really made someone feel off-balance and maybe they need some time to figure that part out again. And then she said “maybe you’re right.”

She brought up this conversation the other day. and she said “Remember that time – that time you gave me new hope in the whole idea of marriage?” And I smiled and said yes.

I keep waiting for the pigs to fly by.

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3 thoughts on “Finding Yourself Through Others.

  1. "A far flung love affair with someone heavily accented."….love it…the wording…and the layers of meaning in "accented"(it seems to me)"Forever doesn't seem daunting – it seems like not enough time." Love this too.It makes me smile that this second sentiment came to me mid-affairS with ones heavily accented…and I still knew…forever with one wouldn't be giving up some part of me…it would be gaining something I could never have on my own.Thanks for the musings!! ;)MuahDuda

  2. It is a challenge, but ya did it right! Gotta love him like there’s no tomorrow, cause sometimes ya might want to smother him with a pillow and it will be the only thing stopping you! (ha ha…been married 24 years to the love of my life who I met when I was 12…best thing I ever did! Enjoy your marriage and above all COMMUNICATE!)

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